Cultivating Age Gap Relationships

I learned something new last month—the origins of the Drake vs. Kendrick hip hop feud that had the internet buzzing over the Superbowl Half-time Show.

To be honest, I have little interest in online arguments on whether Canada or Compton produce the most legit rapper of all time, but I am very committed to staying connected to the young men and women in my life. With that in mind, I prepared myself by watching a few YouTube videos outlining their history of a rap vs. hip hop feud and a replay of the Half-time Show.

The next day when we gathered for our Monday meeting, the team was astonished when I jumped into the very animated conversation about “diss” lyrics and flared jeans. For me, the fun was all about connecting with a younger generation of co-workers, many of whom I consider friends.

Ditching the Invisibility Cloak

The truth is that, as we age, we can feel irrelevant and invisible. Our instincts may tell us to back away from age gap relationships because we fear that we will be dismissed and disregarded. Yet, in today’s multi-generational workforce and beyond, the benefits of connecting with people outside of our age group is both valuable and well-documented. Research tells us that about 37% of people have at least one close relationship defined as intergenerational, meaning an age difference of 15 years or more.

Interactions across age groups, whether professional, social or familial, help break down generational stereotypes while promoting understanding and empathy, something we all need more of in today’s world.

Mentorship Goes Both Ways

A few days ago, I was visiting with a friend who is considered a leader and mentor in her 40-year banking career. While it’s easy to understand why young women starting out in finance are eager to connect with her for mentorship and guidance, my friend says that she is the greater beneficiary of these connections, citing the fresh ideas and youthful enthusiasm that her millennial team members bring to the conversation. She admits that she actively generates conversations with younger members on her team, knowing that different perspectives and experiences will help her to think differently and stay sharp in a rapidly changing world.

Friendships with an Age Gap

Last week I visited with a friend’s mother, a spry 92-year-old who still lives independently, drives on occasion and does her own taxes, something I wouldn’t attempt at any age.

Our visits usually start with discussions about baking and hobbies (she’s an amazing artist, and I’m trying to learn how to bake from scratch) but inevitably the conversation drifts into the difficult territory of end-of-life care and decision-making. Having lost her husband some years ago and now dealing with thoughts of her own mortality, I greatly value her perspective. She’s one of the few people I’m able to speak with candidly regarding my own mother’s decline and eventual transition, and she’s an inspiring example of what it means to welcome late in life changes—even the most painful ones.

Wisdom when Requested

It’s easy to think that, as older women, we are brimming with knowledge and experience that women of a different age are eager to receive. After all, we’ve seen it, done it, and survived it, so why not open the floodgates of our experience and let the knowledge flow forth?

Because no one likes a know-it-all, and there’s no better way to kill a conversation than by starting with the words, “Back in my day…..” I suggest that we keep our well-intended suggestions and stories of how great things used to be to ourselves unless requested. Like my friend in finance, let’s sit back and let these bold and brilliant young leaders provide the inspiration.

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HELL YEAH!

Get paid for sharing your wisdom! Platforms such as Skillshare and Udemy are great places to connect with people from all generations. With courses that range from art and language to finance and web development, these platforms let you share your experience while earning.  

LET’S TALK ABOUT IT:

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